I'm Totally LOST

Am I the only person who does not like the ABC television show "LOST"? Everywhere I go people are talking incessantly about this show:






"Did you watch 'Lost' last night?"

"Yeah, I wonder who the 'Others' are?"

"I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the number 7."

"Maybe, but did you notice that the midget on a tricycle had a medallion with a symbol just like the one on the tail of the airplane?"

"Wow, I never noticed that....that's why the show is SOOOOO great!!!"

The above is but one example of the routinely RIDICULOUS conversations I hear at the water cooler (metaphorically speaking, of course) about "LOST" on a daily basis (or, at least every Thursday morning).

Seriously though, "LOST" has to be the most unfulfilling hour of television ever. In one hour, the plot advances 12 minutes....maybe. Last week, we learned that the Korean couple first met when they literally bumped into each other, and that Michael really misses his son Walt. THAT'S IT. That is ALL that we learned...unless of course you were one of the select few that noticed the fact that the fat guy is actually getting fatter.

Every week it's the same damn thing. The Party of Five guy sweats a lot and seems concerned, the Hobbit guy pines after the blonde chick, the old bald guy acts like my creepy middle school P.E instructor, and everyone participates in an uspoken agreement to react to ALL bad news in the exact same fashion.......extreme close up, look of utter fear, ominous music....wait for it, wait for it.....BOOM....barely audible, in a desperate tone ...."THE OTHERS."

From now one, every time I come across the show "LOST," I will immediately see what's on the OTHER networks........for example, I'm perfectly content watching a "FRIENDS" rerun.....at least I know that every episode is going to be about Ross and Rachel's pathetic romance....I don't expect anything more. You see, television is about eliciting expectations and delivering.....I'm still waiting for "Lost" to deliver.