BUSH IS A LOSER: Hypothetically Speaking

Its the latest craze sweeping the nation...its been touted by one observer as "therapy for liberals," and another left-leaning pundit remarked that "its the only thing that will help me get through the next three years." What is the political cure-all that has these savvy politicos craving for more?

It's.........The Hypothetical Election!!!

Those liberals still reeling from the November 2004 re-election of W. can now rejoice in the fact that if the election happened today, Bush maybe.... probably.... could have.....potentially.... lost.

A majority would vote for a Democrat over President Bush if an election were held this year, according to a CNN/USA Today/Gallup Poll released Tuesday.

In the latest poll, 55 percent of the respondents said that they would vote for the Democratic candidate if Bush were again running for the presidency this year.

Thirty-nine percent of those interviewed said they would vote for Bush in the hypothetical election.

Democrats are beginning to seem confident that the Bush White House is imploding, paving the way for a Democratic victory in 2008.

It kind of reminds me of the beginning of every single "Friday the 13th" movie. The new group of Crystal Lake Camp counselors sit around an open fire, roasting marshmallows, wearing short shorts, and passing around a flask of whiskey, when one cute blonde says, "hey, have you guys heard about this place? About Jason? He was this kid, you see, who was killed and supposedly buried at the bottom of the lake. Rumor has it that he awakens every camp season and torments the campers and counselors." Pause.....silence......then everyone bursts into laughter, passes around a joint, and proceeds to get cut to ribbons by Jason before the movie is over. THE END.


That's how I feel about how the Democrats approached the last presidential election, and how I fear that they will approach the next. You see, the Democrats are those wide-eyed, ambitious camp counselors. And Bush, of course, is the murderous Jason. The counselors are a young, close-knit group that simply assume that Jason is dead because he's at the bottom of the lake. They remember reading local newspaper articles about how he dismembered previous counselors but, afterall, how could he possibly rise again with all the bullets he took in the last movie?

Right now, the Democrats are sitting around the bonfire that is the GOP. The fire keeps getting brighter as each new log is thrown into the inferno.......FEMA.......Rove.......Cheney......Iraq casualties.......Miers. The Democrats are roasting their marshmallows and laughingly dismissing the legend of W. They're thinking..."This summer is going to be cake.....we're basically going to be running this place."

That was their first mistake, because like Jason, the GOP seems to be impervious to bullets, knives, weed whackers, disc sanders, blow torches, darts, and pitch forks.

My message is this: Whenever I would watch those "Friday the 13th" movies, I would scream out at the TV...."No, he's not dead...don't be silly....why would there be a sequel if he was just going to lie there dead? Arm yourselves. Don't sleep. Don't eat. Don't try to have sex with the hot swimming instructor. Just load yourself up with ammo, come up with a plan, get organized, and brace yourself for yet another battle against evil."

That is the same advice I have for the Democratic Party. This is not the Final Chapter. Keep your guard up. Get organized....and for the love of God, do not wander into the darkness alone!