DOWN TO EARTH

Why do so many people believe that by describing their personality as "down to earth," they are somehow making themselves sound more appealing? Similarly, why is it that so many hopeful romantics, when describing their hypothetical "ideal" companion, inevitably include the attribute of...."down to earth"? If you do not believe me, just check the personal ads. One would think that our planet's gravitational pull had been significantly altered judging by the number of desperate people who claim to be VERY down to earth. I do not know who started this, but please stop. Seriously.

The last thing in the world that I EVER want to be is down to earth. And I assure you, my ideal mate is VERY far from earth . . . almost extraterrestrial. To those who use and abuse this hollow phrase, I simply ask you . . . what exactly is the opposite of "down to earth"? What are you hoping to avoid? If someone is REALLY NOT down to earth, then what are they like? Do they have wings? Are they magicians? Astronauts? I am absolutely serious. Until someone describes, in detail, a person who is undeniably NOT down to earth, it is hard for me to get a grasp upon this peculiar phrase.

I cannot think of a single bad reason for leaving earth...even if it is only for a brief while. Jumping. Skipping. Climbing. Flipping. Flying. Levitating. Dreaming. Surely these are not the activities of a repulsive human being. So, what am I missing?

I guess it is just another way of saying that you are very "grounded," and would prefer courtship with someone who is similarly "grounded." Again, a hollow phrase. I suppose that it has something to do with our human circuitry....Electricity ALWAYS seeks the quickest path to its source or to the earth. Proper "GROUNDING" provides a certain path for electricity to safely move back into the earth. Ask any electrician, or any physical scientist, and they will tell you that the very purpose of GROUNDING is to ensure SAFETY.

That must be it. If you are "down to earth," then you are someone who plays it safe. Someone who avoids silly risks, because, in the end, you have already found your comfort zone in life. Your niche. You truly KNOW who you are, and feel no need to constantly reinvent yourself everyday. To those of you I've just described, I can only say . . . GOOD FOR YOU . . . now step aside, and let the rest of us . . . those who crave reinvention . . . those who abhor stasis . . . those with a foolish heart . . . to explore the territory you have elected to ignore.

We will send you a postcard from the stratosphere.